Meth addicts demand the government address the nation's growing spider menace, K-Y introduces a new line of jam, and Prince Fielder reports to spring training exactly the right amount overweight. It's the week of February 27th, 2012

Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA
Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion
Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion